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 happy 14th month anniversary baby. i love you, more and more each day. + amry @ 8:33 PM | 0 comments
it has been more than a week since i've left Bau, Sarawak... but till today it seems so surreal that i'm finally back... just a week ago i was still in Kem Puncak Permai, walking around in nothing but sarongs or lingeries due to the heat, marching almost daily and dragged my feet to all the physical activities... i was still in the midst of the jungle back then, where there was no internet service, and the nearest town, Kuching is about 45 minutes drive from the camp.. the sudden change of environment from a place where greeneries were basically all that you can see, back to the urbanised lifestyle where countless skyscrapers stood majestically on their grounds.. everything felt like it was a just a dream... and a very long dream indeed... i would have been lying to say that i do not miss National Service at all.. yes, initially my hatred towards it was indescribable.. i hated the fact that the freedom that i've always longed for was absent, our movements were very restricted, and even our freedom of speech was limited to a certain extent. there was no rooms for argument or debate.. your responsibility is very simple and clear, listen and act according to the instructions given.. being a rebellious and very opinionated person, i often struggled to obey things which i do not agree upon.. at first, the whole organisation seem like a freaking monarchy system to me.. the commandant as the king, the officers as the ministers, coaches or teachers as the excecutioners, and the rest of us, the trainees, are simply commoners who are told to obey whatever the king says. many of you who are ex-trainees might not agree with me, but it is well known that Kem Puncak Permai is one of the strictest camp around.. that was what i've heard before i went, and after being there for 2 months, i do agree.. nevertheless, this experience has been a true eye opener to me.. there's still racial issues among the younger generations, afterall.. before this i used to believed that it was the older generations who practises racial discrimination, due to the various conflicts among ethnics that has occured during the British colonisation and of course, the infamous May 13 incident. however, having lived with people of different ethnics, religion and background under one roof, the fights, backstabbings, mistrust, conflicts that has occured in the dorms and among the company itself has proved that racial unity has yet to be achieved among the younger generations. looking back at our research findings on the Malaysian Studies project did made some sense after all, that national unity is indeed absent among Malaysians. albeit there were racial conflicts initially, we have learnt to address the problem itself and work on overcoming it, for the benefit of the majority. no one likes to be in a place where fights and backstabbings often takes place, and if we cannot get rid of the suspicion that we have of each other, how can we expect unity in the company, that is vital to the company's victory? after having various heart-to-heart talk and open sharing sessions, all of us confronted the issue and agreed to work on it. as time passes by, day by day we learnt more about each other, and we try to put ourselves in other person's shoe and look at situation from another perspective. we made an effort to take the extra mile to tolerate each other's needs, and accepted each other's shortcomings. we are, afterall, just humans, who are anything but perfect. if i were to list down all that i've learnt and experienced in National Service, the list would be never-ending. it is, like they say, a once in a lifetime experience. from the way of tieing a sarong without it dropping down, to the adrenaline rush that was so overwhelming when attempting flying fox (felt like jumping down from a 3 storey building, and i was the only one who was given a second try, and even a third one which i refused cuz the people around me was already fuming), to the supernatural incidents that has occured during the second week in my dorm (a test of faith and mental strength indeed!) to have your heartbeat stopped for a nanosecond as you fire your first shot with the M16, to swimming in the lake that has fishes and god knows what inhabiting in it, to 'rakit-ing', where you had to paddle fanatically along with 9 others in the water, to the various competitions among companies where you cheer your heart out for your company mates (i lost my voice and had a severe soarthroat due to that), to the various heart-to-heart talks we've had that made me realised how fortunate i am, compared to what others have experienced. the list is endless...but i know, the whole experience has definitely changed me. besides putting on a couple of pounds (thanks to the numerous maggi-mee sessions), i'm certain that the person who came back from Kem Puncak Permai on May 15th is definitely not the same person who left LCCT on March 18th. the only regret that i have from coming back early is having to say goodbye to the friends that i've acquainted in camp. now, my circle of friends are no longer limited to malays and indians alone, but also ibans, bidayuhs etc. it was heartbreaking initially, when i found out that i was leaving earlier than expected. my friend and i wept bitterly from the office where we heard the news, back to our dorm where we broke the news to our friends. for the past 2 months we were like a family, listening to each other's problems, and helping one another overcoming one's fears and doubts. it is such a pity that we are seperated by the South China Sea, and though AirAsia's cheap air fares seems to be the solution to our distance problem, but deep inside we clearly know it would be another couple of months or even years till we meet each other again. sigh. but thanks to the advancement in technology, handphones and internet are the next best alternative... okay... enough with words already... i'll just let the pictures do the talking...  Mei, Li Poh, Me, Sherlyn and StephAt the classroom, before i left
 Lining up according to companies.From Left: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta  Right before i left Kem Puncak PermaiFrom left: Sing Yii, Mei, Mei Xiang, Li Poh, Steph, Sook Ngor, Me, Sherlyn, Michelle)
camwhoring at my dorm, P7
Me and Li Poh, my 'lao poh' in camp  Sherlyn's 18th birthday celebration  Lining up at the marching field before class there's just about it.. i know, i know... it's not that much... that's because i took all of this with my handphone... and as you know, i only have it during weekends and holidays.. hopefully i'll get more from my friends once they get back in 2 weeks time! in the mean time, who wants to meet up? =D + amry @ 10:22 AM | 0 comments
ahh.... it feels like aeons ago since i last posted something... true enough, the last post was february. haha can see what a procrastinator am i from feb - march. but hey, since then i have a valid excuse for my absence right =) duh i was serving national service in Bau for about two gruesome months... time waits for no man.. and i couldn't agree more... it felt like yesterday when i had to packed my bags and bid farewell to my parents in Stadium Shah Alam. i remembered being all emotional that time, crying from the stadium to LCCT. in the airport, i've managed to acquainted a few friends, and met some old one there too. we were all eager to fly to Kuching, but unfortunately many could not board on their flight as their names were not found in the flight's namelist. the queues were horrifically long, people start to lose temper and frustration. imagine yourself after queueing a 100 metre long queue, when its finally your turn, you handed your IC but was told your name wasn't found in the database. so your only alternative was to wait for another couple of hours (in LCCT where their number of shops is so limited) to see if your name is on the other flights. pretty nerve-wrecking right? many were cursing and blaming the government for such inefficiency.. but well, i was lucky for being able to board on the first flight... when we've reached Kuching International Airport, we were took by a bus to our camp, which was approximately 30 minutes from the airport itself. it was already dinner time when we were finally standing on Kem Puncak Permai's ground. to my horror, handphones will be consficated 10 min after dinner! which was much earlier than i expected. i quickly called my parents and him, trying my very best not to cry through the phone call. soon after that our luggage bags were checked by the teachers, and gosh they really can messed up your nicely packed luggage! later on i was brought to my dormitory. i was situated in P7, which means i'm in the Delta company along with P8. the dorms are pretty clean, with two rows of beds neatly arranged vertically along the room. i chose a spot and start to unpacked my belongings quietly.. after having bottling up all my feelings for the entire there, i realise i could no longer suppressed them anymore. big, fat drops of tears rolled down my cheek. it was a whole new environment.. and unlike others, there's no one i knew from subang who came here as well... it felt terrible not having your handphone when you need it the most.. i felt alone, and lost.. before i know it, i was drowning in a pool of tears, trying my best to fall asleep, and hoping that the next day would be a better one... well the later days weren't that bad.. but you do need time to readjust yourself to your new surroundings... things were pretty monotonous there... and first lesson i've learnt from NS is time management. there's really no room for procrastination because our schedule is so packed! an example of our daily routine would be like this: before 5 am - wake up and clean up yourself. do your bed and change to PT clothes. 6 am - line up according to your respective companies in the marching field - sing the national anthem and the " wira wirawati" song - hentak kaki and the infamous Picit 10 - physical training ( which includes lari bukit at times) 7 am - breakfast - change to class attire (baju kelas) 8 am - line up at the marching field again - disciplinary check 8.30 am - classes commence ( Character Building and Kenegaraan) 10 am - tea break 10.35 am - classes resume 12 pm - lunch / break 2 -4 pm - physical module ( where the sun is the HOTTEST) 4 pm - tea break again 5 pm - recreation / sports activities 6 pm - dinner / break 8.30 pm - assemble at the hall 10 pm - supper 11 pm - lights off / sleep. that was a brief insight of what we do daily in the camp. it might not seem that bad, but i did not include times where we have to walk back and forth from the class to my dorm, or from the hall to my dorm, which is a pretty long walk okay! imagine yourself walking back and forth from school 10 times a day. getting exhausted is one thing, but the time you wasted in walking is another! then the most time and energy consuming is the laundry work. gosh, those uniforms are heavy okay! they soaked up water and absorb them like sponge. so it becomes terribly heavy when you handwash them. haha even the guys are complaining about the laundry. worse still, everyday we have to put on different uniforms, from the usual tracksuits, to the class attires, to the celorengs (the blue-striped army uniform that you always see) and finally back to the class attire again). and we were given only 2 sets of uniform each! this means we cannot procrastinate when it comes to washing. the routine of hand-washing clothes several times a day explains why i have bigger arms and shoulders when i came back! sigh =( + amry @ 10:12 AM | 1 comments
first of all, i deeply apologise for the lack of updates. i know, i know. it has almost been 2 months since i posted something. hehe. to be frank there were several times i really felt like posting something, but somehow or another the lazy bug still kicks in. procrastination still prevails afterall =D well, seems like the workload from my college isn't as heavy as my friend's from Taylor's. I'm in Sunway, by the way. Since January i've been getting complaints about the overpiling load of assignments and homeworks. Though mine doesn't seem to be THAT heavy (so far), my timetable is really taking a toll on me. Silly me is taking a total of 5 subjects: Economics, Accounting, Math, Law and General Paper. (yes, i've finally decided to forego all the sciences altogether. been wanting to do that since form 4. hehehe.) As it is 6 hours per subject per week, it sums up to a total of 30 hours of classes in college. if you include the 3 hours of LAN (malaysian studies) per week, it will be 33 hours per week. gawd! it is seriously very taxing okay. most of the time my classes are back to back, as in no break in between. you finish one class, you walk to another classroom, and sit there for another one and a half hour. then the whole cycle repeats itself. for example tuesdays would be from 10am-5pm (no lunch break at all, mind you) and wednesdays would be from 8.30am-5pm, with an hour and a half of break in between. this explains why i'm sooooo jealous of some of my friends who are from taylors. they have plenty of breaks in between! a few hours somemore! =( on the other hand, the NS camp lists are finally out. though i found out mind a few days later than everyone else as i was in my hometown, Penang. actually it started off with a casual phone call with my darling. and since he was in the cyber cafe, i asked him to check for me as well. mind you, that time i didn't know it has been released, so i wasn't expecting to hear anything. hence i couldn't really believe my ears when i heard sarawak. i really thought he was pulling a prank on me. but then he started reading out the address: Kem Puncak Permai, blablabla, Bau, Sarawak. i was kind of waiting for him to shout 'gotcha!' , but nope, few minutes has passes and there's no sign of a joke. slowly i start to regain my rationality, no. this is true. my heart sanked, and i was struggling with tears once again. since the day i found out i was selected, i never stopped worried about the camp i would be sent to. since the first day of February, almost everyday, i would go to that website to see if there's any news regarding the list of camps. i wanted somewhere in Peninsular, so at least i would still have some visitors. albeit my dear constantly assured me that he would visit me regardless of where i was sent to, however deep inside i still know i were to be in the East Malaysia, chances of me seeing him within that 3 months would be close to nil. i know, AirAsia's air fare of RM9.90 seems rather appealing, but there are various hidden fuel charges and taxes which are not included yet. sigh. well, couldn't do much now. can i? currently i'm just looking out for any contacts from Bau or Kuching. hopefully the journey from KL - Kuching - Bau is not too costly. on a lighter note, Happy Chinese New Year to all! + amry @ 12:18 AM | 0 comments
 well college officially started last week. and i have to say it is not as bad as i expected. of course there were butterflies in my stomach during orientation. but i'm glad it went pretty well.. not the listening of hours and hours of speech but you know, the meeting new friends, getting new acquaintances part =) so for the 2nd day of orientation, all of us had to sit for this English Proficiency Test (EPT). yeah. sucks huh? second day of college already have to write essays. haha! well EPT is used to test your proficiency in english, and your results will determine whether you will be in General Paper class or English ( IELTS). what really strucked me is one of the essay questions that they had for the EPT. the question goes like this: "why do people still marry even though one in four marriages end up in divorce?" before we get into that matter, maybe we should ask ourselves why do people marry in the first place? i believe since the beginning of time all living things have been mating, including animals and you know, plants. therefore, it is only normal that human beings do so too. all for the sake of reproduction, in other words is to ensure the continuation of one's species. but as you know too, human beings often call themselves special, different from all other living things, since we are given the gift of thought and emotions. so naturally, when it comes to the task of multiplying, we do it in a different way. unlike animals like dogs, as long both parties are of different sexes, it will be seen mating away. even in public. haha! whereas human beings have replaced the word mating with a beautiful term, marriage. even common terms such as having sex or f**k can be substituted with 'making love'. however, divorce rates are increasing rapidly over the years. everyday more and more children are suffering scenarios whereby they are separated from either parent due to broken marriages. does this phenomenon shows that our society has really lost faith in the sacrament of holy matrimony? if that is so, why do people still choose to marry although the very foundation of the institution of marriage has already been challenged and shakened? i believe most of us somehow spend our lifetime seaching for that special someone. That one and only person out there, who is somewhat destined to be together with you. your true love. your soul mate. it is not a matter of maturity, or age, cause the feeling of longing is already there way before you hit your puberty. you might not put much thought of it when you were young, and yet, all the cinderella stories and sleeping beauty fairytales have unknowingly made you wait for that prince-charming of yours, riding his magnificent white stallion, and come to take his princess away. and when you actually hit puberty, you start to explore in the world of puppy loves. being innocent and naive, you actually believed that the relationship could actually last till the end of time. when you finally step into college, or join the workforce, you socialise more. the number of your acquaintances grew. but each and everytime you get to know a guy or a girl, you still can't help it but wonder, could he/she be the one? sadly, how many romantic fairytales did ever come true in our lives? countless times we have been let down and disappointed over and over again as one relationship fails another. and as we mature and age, the desperation to find someone also increases as we know our time on earth is running short. eventually, we'll give up on finding Mr/Ms Perfect. no, i don't mean perfect as in tall, smart, pretty, well-built, rich etc type but rather finding the perfect companion that can fulfil all your needs and tolerate all your nonsense as well. as time passes by, we become less picky and less demanding. some may even give in just for the sake of marrying someone. the rather confusing matter is, why do most people seem to take marriage as a necessity, a need rather than a want? that, i think, we have to give credit to these people's perseverance and determination, and of course, faith. as i said early, searching for the right person is a lifelong journey. it doesn't take count on how many past relationships u had, or rather how many past marriages, seeing the number of people remarrying are increasing too. but both parties have the similar concept in mind, if the previous one fails, maybe the latter one may eventually work out then. thus is doesn't really matter although 25% of couples end up in divorce. because being human, we always choose to put aside all the negativity. being human, we always believe that who knows, we might be lucky enough to be in the other 75%. afterall, who has the right to say that you don't deserve a chance of happiness? on the other hand, i believe a minority of people chose to get married due to pressure from family members and their peers. before we turn and point the finger at other people, let us question ourselves, what is the first thing in your mind if you found out that the middle-age man/woman you're speaking to is single and unmarried. surely you'll be secretly wondering what's wrong with this person that no one wants to start a family with him/her, am i right? our society is such that anything that doesn't belong to common norms of society, will often be judged and criticised by the rest of the society. since getting married is common, thus staying single naturally became otherwise. worse still, with the double standards we have in our society, the amount of pressure and stress that single women face could be unbearable too. just by looking at terms like 'spinster' and 'bachelor', we can slightly have a picture of what single women have to endure. the idea of getting married to someone that might not be prince charming and just an average joe is far more appealing than being classified as unwanted, rejected, and worse of all, old. well, let's not be so pessimistic about things, shall we? hehe. there is this saying about why do people get married that i'm currently personally very fond with. it is taken from the movie "Shall We Dance?". albeit it is no Shakespear's words or great Socrate's philosophies. but somehow or other, i find it rather relevant, and of course, i melt when i first heard it. Though i might not be able to put it in exact words, but this is a rough idea of how it goes: There are 6 billion people in this world. and out of this 6 billion, we seem rather small and minute as individuals. As an individual, everything little thing that we do, whether is it a simple ordinary tasks such as cleaning and dining, or our everyday obligatory task like going to work, seemed so insignificant, and not worth mentioning at all at times. So there are times when you seem to be all alone, living your everday life, unwatched, unwitnessed, unnoticed. But if you get to spend your lifetime with someone, things are somehow different. Because no matter how small or minute or how simple a task might seemed, there will be someone there to notice every detail, to take care of your every aspect in life. Someone will be there to watch, to witness, to notice your life. and with that, everything else seemed relevant once more. because you are significant. because you mean something to someone. and when the time comes where you breath your last, at least you know you didn't spend your lifetime unnoticed. like how we always stare in pity whenever we saw an animal carcass on the road side. and that slightest bit of pitiness simply vanishes by the time you reach the end of the road.. with sharing the rest of your live with that someone, you meant something more than just a memory to your partner, your friend, your love.  "When the time comes where you hold my hands and whisper ' I love you' into my ears, that is when you know i'm completely yours." + amry @ 8:53 PM | 0 comments
ahh...it's new year at last... a fresh new start, ya know? year 2006 was indeed a very memorable year to me. you can say it was hell of a rollercoaster ride, with its ups and downs. but oh well, i'm still very much thankful for all the friends i acquainted ( you know who you are =) , achieving success beyond my wildest dreams ( IU Night, debate competition etc. ) and of course, having to meet someone that i still hold dear to my heart. the start of 2007 was pretty eventful for me, at least. i remember exactly one year ago, on the eve of year 2006, i was sitting in front of the computer at home, typing a depressing post on how not festive i felt about the new year celebration. a year later, many things changed for sure. i was there in Tony Roma's at pyramid, patiently waiting for the clock to strike 12 with my close friends. and best of all, we got to witness a full view of fireworks that was released on that night, minus the sweat and of course, the crowd. it felt as if the whole celebration was right there before you, and you're witnessing it without having to push around the usual crowd. plus, the place was air conditioned. what more can i ask for? so far year 07 has bring me nothing but joy. and i really hope that it will stay this way for the rest of the year. like they always say, a new year, a new hope. and i'm hoping that this year would be a better one than the last. not to say the last wasn't good enough. but being human and being greedy, it's only normal to ask for more ;) yesterday all the NS 1st batch trainees were finally leaving their homes to pursue the much hated training. as one of the selected trainees, i can't help but felt my heart sanked a little as i watch them boarding the buses. in another few months time, i will be in their shoes. i wonder who would be there, to say goodbye? ah, saying goodbye is gonna be tough. especially the thought of not having your mobile phone during the weekdays doesn't make it any easier. ( i know, i know, i practically can't live without it haha ) and it is 3 months. not to say long, but it's definitely not short either. sigh on a lighter note, i'll be one of the early ones who will be starting college early. in fact, my orientation is starting this thursday. *sobs* and yes, for those who are wondering, i am still going for NS. in fact, right after NS, i will be back in college again. the point is, i'm actually kinda worried about going to college. though i had been there since i was a lil kid (my mum works there), but actually going there as a college student is a different story indeed. i still remember how worried i was on my first day at seafield. new environment, new classes, new subjects, unfamiliar faces, new friends. ah, i have to start the whole process of adapting to a new environment again. and the cycle just goes on and on eh? well, wish me luck on that. =D + amry @ 9:59 PM | 0 comments
those three words. are said too much. they're not enough. no one ever said that love was gonna be easy. gotta take the ups and downs. the in-betweens. i was all by myself for the longest time. cuz i want just one love to be enough. and remain in my heart till i die. i hear your name in certain circles. and it always makes me smile. i spent my time just thinkin about you. and its almost driving me wild. you touched my heart. you touched my soul. i know you well. i know your smell. i've been addicted to you. and love is blind and that I knew when, my heart was blinded by you. well everything was easy then. so sweet and innocent. but your demons and your angels reappeared. every time I think of you I always catch my breath. i'm still standing here and your miles away. and the hurt from the heart it would not subside. saying I love you. is not the words I want to hear from you. i just want to hold you. well they say that love is in the air. but never is it clear. how to pull it close and make it stay. you got my head spinning. i don't know where to go from here. cos I'm slipping away like the sand to the tide. you don't know how desperate I've become. and It looks like I'm loosing this fight. you can't break my spirit. it's my dreams you take. but do you know that when you go, i fall apart. leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be. leavin' me with no place left to go from here. and there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight. it’s a wonder my heart still hears and beats and feels. don't kiss and hug me and then try to run. i don't want just a memory. give me forever. i'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes. i'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize. but is there someplace far away. someplace where all is clear. easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear. if you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside. would you swear that you'll always be mine? was it you that kept me wondering through this life? when you know that I was always on your side. and there's a message that I'm sendin' out. like a telegraph to you or something. honey, stop this heart ache all alone. and as you move on, remember me. remember us and all we used to be. goodbye my lover. you have been the one for me + amry @ 3:53 PM | 0 comments
haha! so it is finally over and done with! well i know almost everyone has been celebrating and rejoicing in the name of freedom quite a few days ago.. but sadly i only got to savour it yesterday! and gosh, the extra two days was really agonizing! it feels like you're done, but just a tiny weeny bit unfinished yet. that kind of frustration, ya know? drives you crazy. but what da heck, it's history =) but one thing of ending ur spm later than everyone else is, you don't get to celebrate and scream at the top of your lungs with the rest of the crowd when it is over. i believed literally everyone headed straight to the malls after bio paper. and while other people busy taking pictures as it is their last day as a high school student..sadly when it comes to my turn, there ain't much celebration going. in fact, i don't think there is any, for me. all i did was head home, then head to summit (with parents, mind you) to watch happy feet, then head straight home. kinda sad huh? don't exactly know why... but it seems that most of the time, when i'm 'supposed' to be happy, i am not. like when pmr was over and done with, i realised there wasn't much joy in me either. heck, last year i even stayed at home during new year! (partially cuz i was sick) but well you know, they say there's always time for joy and time for cheer. guess it doesn't applies to me. or maybe, i had other thoughts in mind. bigger worries, more complicated problems. yes, much suckier than spm itself. but don't get me wrong. i am looking forward to what's coming. christmas, catching up with friends, partying (i wish), new year, college, NS (yea yea -.- ) .... oh yea, someone is turning 18 soon too *winks* ah. i feel so old. seriously, time flies. one moment ago we were 'innocent' young childish geeks who just step into the world of hoo-haa --> high school. and now, we're leaving it for a bigger hoo-haa, well you know, college. and i guess we can roughly guess how much more complicated things would be when we're finally in the corporate world. ironically as you ascend to a higher hierachi, there will be more fights, more back-stabbing, sacarscm thrown everywhere, and of course, more political. ah well. it is still a long way to go. hope my life is long enough to experience it all (according to palm reading, there is something wrong with my life line, haha! ) anyway, today i fianlly got to meet up with my friends, and of course someone dear to me. it was supposed to be siew ying's farewell. at first i really thought she was migrating, but thank god she isn't! =D anyhow, a bunch of us met up in Loganhouse, Taipan for lunch. as you know food is kinda pricey there and i wanna save money for xmas and hong kong as well, so i decided to order fish n chips, and i shared it with carolyn. while others the usual lamb, steak, you know la and some ordered a few fresh oysters too.. and oh yeah, escargote! not so sure about the spelling, but it is snail la =D and before you start thinking it is all yucky and start imagining of how a snail looks like, it is NOTHING like those snails you see in your garden okay! these are french snails, if i'm not mistaken. and it actually taste quite good ;p ah well, i'm up for whacky food. talking bout whacky food, kia vin and ryan decided to do the usual tradition whenever they dine at a restaurant. they'll mix everything they can get their hands on in a cup, dilute it with water and dare someone to drink it. and this time they managed to raise the stake by giving money to whoever who does. so when the price was around 20-25 i was thinking, well, what da heck i can buy reload with it. so i requested for 30 and ji yung and bhakti topped it up. and so the money was on the desk, 3 red 10 ringgit notes. i was holding the cup, but everyone was like holding their camera and their handphone right at face waiting to take a shot at it. so i couldnt stop laughing. but yea, i did it anyway. the whole glass of it. drinking it wasn't that difficult, but after that you start feeling naucious haha! but oh well, i got my money ;) curious of what they put inside? this was the recipe: tobasco sauce sweetened chili sauce salt pepper some green seasoning (still don't know what is it) few packets of sugar few packets of creamer ketchup coffee tea a splash of lemon juice that's all they could remember la. don't what else is inside it. now i know why is taste so sweet and salty and a lil spicy. kinda weird, but it is meant to be weird la. lol. and yeah, my stomach is fine, thank you =) and no, i did not have diarrhea, yet. hehe =) ah well, it was all fun. the food is okay. but the company, superb! gotta really catch up with as many people as i can, before we really had to part our own ways. and yea, christmas is here! have i ever mentioned how i love christmas season? it never fails to bring a smile on my face, and i hope it is the same for this year. i really need to lighten up, after everything. sigh. and no, this year i WILL NOT be sick and i WILL NOT stay at home. haha! + amry @ 12:17 AM | 0 comments
weee....!! am so glad it wasn't as bad as i expected...after all the anxiety + anticipation + worried nights + paranoia, 11th of Oct finally came and went =D this very special day is of course my S.O's birthday!! just a few weeks ago i came up with this "ingenious" idea of baking a cake for him instead of buying one since Secret Recipe has been a norm especially during birthdays... but the problem is me getting out of the house and bake one....after consulting shaun and wai hou (cuz they know how to bake, and they bake well!), they agreed to help =) well i ain't gonna elaborate on the whole baking cake session. i guess it is inevitable that there will some minute problems here and there. to sum it all up, those tiny hitches were: - 10th of Oct (the eve of his bday) was made a public holiday. public holiday --> parents at home --> can't sneak out - wai hou sent a last minute messaged saying his dad doesn't allow us to bake the cake at his house. suggested carolyn's house instead. - called carolyn but unfortunately her mum doesn't allow either. suggested abby's place. - called abby. was alright until she said she had to go out and celebrate sio sen's birthday which they had agreed upon earlier on. suggested shaun's crib. - shaun's sister, Kimberly is having her finals now. parents would not want people to disrupt her studying. - finally called Joshua out of sheer desperation. after much pleading and persuasion, i finally got a place! but his mum wasn't so happy about the last-minute-informing. sorry aunty! - wai hou forgotten to pass us the mould. when i finally got it, shaun had to go. and i'm literally a noob in baking cakes. - mum came and insisted that she was in a hurry. had to pack and leave with the cake not evenly spread out yet. - turns out that mum decided to go to the hair salon. had to hold the unfinished cake while desperately thinking of where to get strawberries.- had a rough journey home while holding the unfinished cake when mum decided to take the more bumpier ride home. - finally got back home and struggled to even out the cake. it is harder to smoothen it out now cuz the cake started to set already. - spent the whole night taking the cake out of the fridge, grab a knife and try to smoothen the top again and again. i think i did this every half an hour for the whole night. cuz the top was seriously hideous! *sobs* ah well.. seriously at times i felt so helpless where everything seems to be going wrong... i really thought the plan had to be canceled when i couldn't get a venue plus my mum was very very reluctant to send me there. but ah, it turns out fine all because i have great friends. namely, Joshua, who was kind enough to lend me his kitchen although it was a last minute request. Shaun, who helped to ferry the equipments from wai hou's house, and of course, teaching me to bake! Wai hou, who patiently endure all my fussiness and paranoia. He kept calling to make sure everything is alright. With that said, i proudly present to you, Lemon Chilled Cheese Cake:  haha told you it was a mess... gawd i was so worried and i doubted so much before letting him see the cake. haha! sorry la, first time baking. plus with all the nervous breakdowns here and there, er i guess this is the best i can do for now =p + amry @ 6:29 PM | 1 comments
 A few weeks ago I was browsing through various blogs in the internet…well somehow or another I actually enjoyed reading them, especially certain posts which are very intriguing indeed, despite whether I know the blogger personally or not. And recently I stumbled upon this blog, and one of its hottest post's title caught my eye… "Losing my virginity" I'm sure those three words caught your attention too. I mean, who wouldn't? Well rest assured that that post isn't some erotic sexual encounter experience of the writer, or pornography, for that matter. In fact, it is about the writer's opinion on when does a girl, or a woman loses her virginity. As we all know, we live in a very judgmental society. Every little thing that we do, whether it is how we speak, or how we act, or how we dine, or even the tiniest deed that we do, naturally people around us will tend to judge and evaluate, and unknowingly categorizing us in different ranks of society. And sadly, we, who fall under the female category, often get the harshest criticisms most of the time. All our lives we're considered as the weaker link, and so we spent all our lives proving otherwise. When we were young, we had to compete with the boys in sports to show that we are physically as capable as them. Then we had to make an extra effort to study hard just to prove that it is simply wrong when ancient civilization banned woman from getting education, since the level of our intelligence is on par with men. As we slowly begin our journey to adulthood, we have to constantly beware on how we carry ourselves to avoid from being regarded as a total slut or bitch. And as a teenager, I believe the most common dilemma we had to face is the ever controversial issue about a person's virginity. Being brought up in a Chinese family, naturally my family tried their very best to instill various virtues inside me. I was also constantly reminded about the question on morality before making any decisions, or taking any actions. And just like any other religion, my faith always stresses on chastity, as well as the importance of keeping your warranty valid until you get married. So you can imagine how the word 'pre-marital sex' became a taboo for us all. But I simply don't understand what the fuss is about when one loses his or her virginity outside of the marital bed. No, I'm not encouraging pre-marital sex in any way, nor have I done it. But I have to admit, being a hot-blooded teenager, my self-restraining ability was a very fine line indeed. I was very passionate about everything, especially when I first stepped into the world of puppy loves and relationships. I was eager and curious to experience everything, but holding back some because of my faith. But even if I did, does that make me a bad person, or any less good? And ironically, our society is often biased, especially when it comes to sexual issues. If a young lad encountered sexual experience, he could get away easily simply because he is considered a hot-blooded, immature, not-knowing-what-he-was-doing teenager. But on the contrary, if it was a young girl, you can imagine the consequences she has to endure, not with her sexual partner, but all by herself. Pretty unfair huh? I suppose even with modern civilization, we can never get rid of the very much hated double standards. Although I had never crossed that line, I know of certain people who actually did, and some of them are actually my friends. If you thought that they were boasting in glee and pride when they retell the incident, you're very wrong indeed. In fact, most people who had actually been there and done it, felt deeply remorseful for what had happened. And it was far from easy for them to open up, simply because they fear of being rejected by their families, friends, and the society. On the other hand, the guilt they have to go through is a long and lonely journey. But if only we could stop passing judgments unto other people, or labeling them unknowingly, the percentage of teen suicides or teenagers facing emotional breakdowns might decrease eventually. After all, who we are to judge them? I personally believe that to have premarital sex or not is simply a choice. Albeit our eastern culture somehow prohibits it, it would not do any good if a person is simply holding back just because he/she is told off by a third party, rather than choosing to stay a virgin just because he/she wants to. Very often that person would most likely pursue it, because he/she is holding to other people's beliefs, not their own. But if they made the call themselves, their decision would be naturally their very own principal, which will be much harder to be shaken and challenged by other parties. And for those gentlemen out there who want virgin brides, stop messing around with your current girlfriends. What's the point of sleeping with someone if you have no intention of continuing the relationship with them in future? Isn't it irresponsible to persuade one to sleep with you and marry another one just because she is a virgin? As for those who keeps blaming their partner of why they didn't wait long enough, it wasn't because they did not love you, but simply because it is human nature that people make mistakes at time, especially during their adolescent times. Plus I personally believe that nobody should be penalized for what they did in the past, simply because the past is history and history are meant to be learnt from it. I guess all I want to say is, if one really did lose his/her virginity, it does not make that person any less good. In the same way, even if one succeeded to keep theirs, it does not make them a more righteous person either. As for my case, I hope that I'll be the latter one =P + amry @ 8:31 PM | 0 comments |
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