living the foxy way ^^

January 08, 2007

well college officially started last week. and i have to say it is not as bad as i expected. of course there were butterflies in my stomach during orientation. but i'm glad it went pretty well.. not the listening of hours and hours of speech but you know, the meeting new friends, getting new acquaintances part =)

so for the 2nd day of orientation, all of us had to sit for this English Proficiency Test (EPT). yeah. sucks huh? second day of college already have to write essays. haha! well EPT is used to test your proficiency in english, and your results will determine whether you will be in General Paper class or English ( IELTS).

what really strucked me is one of the essay questions that they had for the EPT. the question goes like this:

"why do people still marry even though one in four marriages end up in divorce?"

before we get into that matter, maybe we should ask ourselves why do people marry in the first place? i believe since the beginning of time all living things have been mating, including animals and you know, plants. therefore, it is only normal that human beings do so too. all for the sake of reproduction, in other words is to ensure the continuation of one's species.

but as you know too, human beings often call themselves special, different from all other living things, since we are given the gift of thought and emotions. so naturally, when it comes to the task of multiplying, we do it in a different way. unlike animals like dogs, as long both parties are of different sexes, it will be seen mating away. even in public. haha! whereas human beings have replaced the word mating with a beautiful term, marriage. even common terms such as having sex or f**k can be substituted with 'making love'.

however, divorce rates are increasing rapidly over the years. everyday more and more children are suffering scenarios whereby they are separated from either parent due to broken marriages. does this phenomenon shows that our society has really lost faith in the sacrament of holy matrimony? if that is so, why do people still choose to marry although the very foundation of the institution of marriage has already been challenged and shakened?

i believe most of us somehow spend our lifetime seaching for that special someone. That one and only person out there, who is somewhat destined to be together with you. your true love. your soul mate. it is not a matter of maturity, or age, cause the feeling of longing is already there way before you hit your puberty. you might not put much thought of it when you were young, and yet, all the cinderella stories and sleeping beauty fairytales have unknowingly made you wait for that prince-charming of yours, riding his magnificent white stallion, and come to take his princess away. and when you actually hit puberty, you start to explore in the world of puppy loves. being innocent and naive, you actually believed that the relationship could actually last till the end of time. when you finally step into college, or join the workforce, you socialise more. the number of your acquaintances grew. but each and everytime you get to know a guy or a girl, you still can't help it but wonder, could he/she be the one?

sadly, how many romantic fairytales did ever come true in our lives? countless times we have been let down and disappointed over and over again as one relationship fails another. and as we mature and age, the desperation to find someone also increases as we know our time on earth is running short. eventually, we'll give up on finding Mr/Ms Perfect. no, i don't mean perfect as in tall, smart, pretty, well-built, rich etc type but rather finding the perfect companion that can fulfil all your needs and tolerate all your nonsense as well. as time passes by, we become less picky and less demanding. some may even give in just for the sake of marrying someone.

the rather confusing matter is, why do most people seem to take marriage as a necessity, a need rather than a want? that, i think, we have to give credit to these people's perseverance and determination, and of course, faith. as i said early, searching for the right person is a lifelong journey. it doesn't take count on how many past relationships u had, or rather how many past marriages, seeing the number of people remarrying are increasing too. but both parties have the similar concept in mind, if the previous one fails, maybe the latter one may eventually work out then. thus is doesn't really matter although 25% of couples end up in divorce. because being human, we always choose to put aside all the negativity. being human, we always believe that who knows, we might be lucky enough to be in the other 75%. afterall, who has the right to say that you don't deserve a chance of happiness?

on the other hand, i believe a minority of people chose to get married due to pressure from family members and their peers. before we turn and point the finger at other people, let us question ourselves, what is the first thing in your mind if you found out that the middle-age man/woman you're speaking to is single and unmarried. surely you'll be secretly wondering what's wrong with this person that no one wants to start a family with him/her, am i right? our society is such that anything that doesn't belong to common norms of society, will often be judged and criticised by the rest of the society. since getting married is common, thus staying single naturally became otherwise. worse still, with the double standards we have in our society, the amount of pressure and stress that single women face could be unbearable too. just by looking at terms like 'spinster' and 'bachelor', we can slightly have a picture of what single women have to endure. the idea of getting married to someone that might not be prince charming and just an average joe is far more appealing than being classified as unwanted, rejected, and worse of all, old.

well, let's not be so pessimistic about things, shall we? hehe. there is this saying about why do people get married that i'm currently personally very fond with. it is taken from the movie "Shall We Dance?". albeit it is no Shakespear's words or great Socrate's philosophies. but somehow or other, i find it rather relevant, and of course, i melt when i first heard it. Though i might not be able to put it in exact words, but this is a rough idea of how it goes: There are 6 billion people in this world. and out of this 6 billion, we seem rather small and minute as individuals. As an individual, everything little thing that we do, whether is it a simple ordinary tasks such as cleaning and dining, or our everyday obligatory task like going to work, seemed so insignificant, and not worth mentioning at all at times. So there are times when you seem to be all alone, living your everday life, unwatched, unwitnessed, unnoticed. But if you get to spend your lifetime with someone, things are somehow different. Because no matter how small or minute or how simple a task might seemed, there will be someone there to notice every detail, to take care of your every aspect in life. Someone will be there to watch, to witness, to notice your life. and with that, everything else seemed relevant once more. because you are significant. because you mean something to someone. and when the time comes where you breath your last, at least you know you didn't spend your lifetime unnoticed. like how we always stare in pity whenever we saw an animal carcass on the road side. and that slightest bit of pitiness simply vanishes by the time you reach the end of the road.. with sharing the rest of your live with that someone, you meant something more than just a memory to your partner, your friend, your love.

"When the time comes where you hold my hands and whisper ' I love you' into my ears, that is when you know i'm completely yours."

+ amry @ 8:53 PM

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