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i wished someone could tell me.. my question is, is it the end ?? well i certainly hope it is..for never have i felt this disappointed with someone.. nevertheless whenever i recalled the way he handled these things, in this case - relationships, the little bud of hatred of me begins to blossom, and grow... how i wished we never had that conversation, that night...before our argument started, he was telling that he will be letting me go, because his parents do not encourage him to have any relationships currently...and being a devoted Christian, he took it as a 'sign' from God, saying that God said that man should honour their parents...so, since his parents disagree, God does not agree too, and so he will give up on courting me... no, we're not a couple yet...we weren't even close in being one...for i hesitated when he asked, twice actually...the main reason i was doubtful was because i'm very clear that i do not love him....he's a very bold, dominant and prideful man but nevertheless he's a genius in school.. to me, the very basic foundation of a relationship is when two individuals start to fall for each other, or the very least, fond of each other.... but i did not have such feeling towards him..honestly speaking, even for my last relationship i had with Jason, the main factor that we broked up was i did not love him..even though i tried very hard to do so...at times i even wondered, is there anything wrong with me?? why can't i fall in love?? is it because of the experience i had with daqiang, which did not work out, not even to be a couple, but yet so painful...leaving a deep deep scar at the bottom of my heart...which all this while i was trying to heal it...and as time goes by, i thought the pain is gone, and i felt relieved... yet whenever i recall it, sometimes tears still shed from my eyes...maybe i was wrong to think that i've gotten over it already.. yes, i admit that since the betrayal and cheating and all, i began to lose faith and trust in men... but i'm positive that i do trust my friends, guy or girl...just that when it comes to relationships, i tend to be doubtful..i know people always say that " it is not advisable to start a relationship at such a tender age"...but who can guarantee when it is the right time to start one? who can say when you should start and when you should not? that's why i only trust in one thing...my heart. it will tell me how i feel about this/that guy currently...whether i truly like him, or it is just a crush, or plainly fond of him, but not love... i had 3 relationships before, and another 1 which we did not even date....yet i wonder among this 4 relationships, have i ever found love? Did Cupid abandoned me somehow? i hate the fact that why is it so hard for me to fall for someone, is it because the failures i had last time? is it fear that helds me back now? i wished someone could tell me.. truthfully speaking, i was getting soft-hearted and all as i see the effort he placed on me... i saw sincerity in him...however it totally shut me off when his arrogance began to show, when we argue over sensitive issues that i can never tolerate...when he start annoucing to other people that 'officially' he will be giving up on me...i wonder, did he ever considered how would i feel?? if you say u love me so and so, is that all you can offer? i'm just a plain simple girl..i've to admit that most of the time, i'm naive... yes, especially when it comes to relationships...my friend once asked me, what's the criteria i'm looking for in a guy? i was stunned, unable to give any answers, for i never thought of such questions...because i never set anything like certain 'standards' to become my partner...i believe that it is sincerity, genuine, truthfullness, loyalty and last but not least-love that counts... is that too much to ask? am i being picky to have such requirements? i wished someone could tell me.. + amry @ 3:50 PM |
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2 Comments:
ermz.. where should i start..well bout the christianity thing 4get bout it la wateva he wanna thinks let him think la if u wanna fight back 4 wat u think is rite it well so may cause more damage..and i dunno how to say dis la..love is something u cannot rush..it will come slowly..and to be honest cupids arrow never misses itz juz all those other relationships were made by urself 4 our age wat dey say is our love is juz puppy love which is not serious... and well itz also hard to 4get wat dat has happened in the past..my advice is juz to try ur best to 4get bout him and find somemore whu realli realli appeciates u ^^ i dunno wat i said dis is not me itz somebody else dat i dunno tokking 4give me if all of dis is keluar topic -_-" bie bie
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Anonymous, at 11:16 PM
Dear Anne, since you are not even fond of that guy, try not to bother what he says. If you care about what he says, then most probably you do care about him. Do not be so pessimistic about relationships. Maybe Cupid thinks that you are too good for all the idiots around you so he decided to lengthen your journey of finding your loved one. Most important of all, never shut your heart.Although you were hurted by some idiot fools but time will heal your wound. Just let the past go with the wind and welcome a brand new day. If you are fond of a person, do not hesitate to like him, just follow your heart. Nobody is fussy or picky when it comes to finding a companion. Everybody is an individual and therefore have the right to choose a person within your own criteria as your companion. So I wish you all the best in finding your true love. Good luck!!!
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Anonymous, at 3:31 PM
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